Hi there,
Welcome to my blog!
Still have my learner’s license, so stay tuned while I learn how to drive this thing.
Consider buying some poetry for a special stocking stuffer this Christmas… it’s not chocolate, but then again. it’s not a lump of coal either…
When something upsets one’s equilibrium, it’s a little like when something upsets one’s digestion. It’s uncomfortable, distressing, and regrettable. And when things right themselves, it’s hard to remember what all the fuss was about.
I don’t think it’s the Abilify… it might just be too much screen time. The brain tiredness, and headacheiness, and general lethargy could all be linked to my computer. I know I am an addict because even when I know I’m unhappy and uncomfortable, I can’t pull myself away.
That said…
Yesterday I spent much of the afternoon in bed reading Annabelle by Kathleen WInter. It’s one of those novels that is easy, so easy to read and to enjoy. There might be more intellectually challenging novels, but to me there is something incredibly precious about a book that is well written, a great story with great characters, and that you want to take to bed not to put you to sleep but to keep you reading into the wee hours, until your eyes dry out and your lids refuse to open. I so rarely spend time soaking in a novel these days or indeed, since I crossed the wild field of adolescence that it reminds me of childhood, that far away time when books were for devouring by the stack, like pancakes.
If a person wanted to cultivate an addiction, they could do worse than reading novels. They could be enslaved to email. If they’re lucky though, they can have a little of both… all the words they want, on screen and off. He who does not believe in heaven has never taken a novel to bed, or answered their email from his bubble bath.
I started a new medication lately, called Abilify.. It comes in a weird little pill, so small that it gets lost in my mouth, and I don’t even know when I’ve swallowed it. I think it makes me a bit nauseous, and every day, sometime in between 4 and 6 pm, I feel … wrong. My head aches, mildly, and life makes me unhappy. It doesn’t last long, and is minor enough that I find it interesting rather than upsetting.
The hope is that Abilify will help me lose weight as well as support my mental health. I have doubts about the weight loss, but am willing to give it old the college try. Olanzapine has worked well on my brain but has not been so good for my physical health, and Abilify may be able to succeed where Olanzapine has failed.
But it’s my low intensity exercise class that I think is of most benefit to me physically and it comes a close second to my drugs where my mental health is concerned. I am able to get what for me is a workout, among people who are similarly disabled by pain, breathing problems, and/or weight-related issues We’re all trying to do better, go farther and longer, and although we’ll never make the Olympics, our small gains (or losses, as the case may be) are reason to celebrate.
If Abilify does what its name seems to imply, making me more able (to get around the gym, lose weight and keep out of hospital) then it’s worth a little headache and unhappiness. And if it lets me add a few more steps to my pedometer total, I’ll dedicate a poem to it.”Abilify me!”
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Hunkering down for the bus strike, So many of us are without resources to get to work, to doctor appointments, to the grocery store. I have already seen the negative impact of the bus strike on the mental health of a friend, and expect to feel it in my pocketbook soon when I and others I work with can’t get to my usual gigs (writing group and Random Acts of Kindness group) at the Healthy Minds Cooperative, It can’t be good for business that people can’t get to the stores. On the bright side however, maybe there will be fewer kids hanging out at the mall. Maybe they’ll take to the streets and play hockey, walk to school, make friends with their neighbours.
But as usual when an essential service is cut off or denied, it’s the most vulnerable who hurt most– seniors, the working poor, and people with disabilities on fixed incomes, who have no other options. It’s only fair to mention them.because while the bus strike is an inconvenience to many, to some it is a deprivation that can lead to social isolation, ill health and further impoverishment, May the strike end soon, and thanks to all the generous souls who are pitching in to help ( Thanks Dad!) .
I’ve been writing some… not today but recently. I haven’t had much work but have been devoting some time every morning to writing and it makes me feel peaceful and happy. But i need to get some paying gigs so please keep me in mind. Maybe you’re having a birthday party and want me to come lead a poetry workshop for your guests! or maybe you have a wedding coming up and instead of getting pedicures and up dos, you want to work on your wedding speeches. Well I hope you’ll think of me! I don’t jump out of cakes, juggle or make balloon animals, but I can do something! I’m a mercenary poet.
It’s late. bedtime and dreamtime. I had a strange dream the other night that my friend Chava called me and then fell silent on the phone while i asked questions trying to figure out what was wrong. I woke up in the middle of the dream so never did find out why she wouldn’t say anything. The new med I’m on might make for more vivid dreams… I’m looking forward to more of those!
time for cornflakes. time for bed
It’s snowing… and I am home– full of healthy, delicious food, listening to my favourite radio station, with a free evening ahead of me. I’m at peace with my recent decision not to take a CEO position because I don’t like the acronym– reminds me too much of the ee i ee i o song. I don’t have a job, but I’m learning how to blog, am keeping my eyes open and hoping someone will want a hard-working writer on their team. My slogan: “Too bogged down to blog? Inspired to retire? I’ll do your job, you knob!”
Well it’s time to hunker down for the snow storm and think wintery thoughts. The cloud have covered o’er us and the the flakes are floating down….slow down all you car commuters… and what the hell are you doing online while you’re driving?
Well the new year has come and most of us want to see improvements over last year. Maybe we want a little less around the middle and a little more in the pocket. Well those are top of my list… but the very tip top of my list is to become a CEO. Because apparently they are the tip of the economic iceberg, and maybe of the evolutionary pyramid too… so skilled and wise as to be almost a different species. And therefore deserving of an outrageous number of shells, trinkets and stock options each hour they sit in their glass walled offices, watching the rest of the folk in their sweaty cubicles.
So today I state my intention to be a CEO, and I look forward to seeing what comes my way. I’ve got a nice business card and a comfortable chair. Now I want the private island and a trip into outer space… but I’d settle for a private jet and beachfront penthouse. After all a CEO has to start somewhere. . and I’m willing to begin at the bottom of the top.
